5 Toxic traits in yourself and ways to fix them. Life is like a rollercoaster full of ups and downs with changing behavioral patterns and emotions. Throughout this journey, we either develop pleasing behavior and help in attracting people around us or we can develop toxic traits in yourself that push people away from us. This type of behavior can damage our relationship personally and professionally, it can also hurt all aspects of our life. Therefore, we need to identify these toxic traits and change them for good, the sooner we do it the better it will be. So, in this article, we’ll see Toxic Traits in Yourself – 6 Ways to Identify & Fix Them
How to Know You’re a Toxic Person & Fix It:
Toxic traits in yourself start sometimes when we get a little jealous of the other person around us, the person like whom we might want to become and it’s completely fine because a little jealousy is a human behavior but a lot or practically getting jealous from everyone can be destructive. Being insecure or bad-mouthing others out of jealousy all the time isn’t good as it, in turn, can lead to toxic behavior and pushing people away from us.
Usually, we tend to stay ignorant of this fact but it is necessary to recognize this behavior to have a better environment for us and the people in it. When you’re too jealous you often make people around you uncomfortable, they choose to avoid any sort of communication, they distance themselves from you or stay away as much as possible.
So to cope up with jealousy first thing one must do is acknowledge it, accept the fact that you’re being jealous as it just a universal emotion. Start loving yourself, not everybody has to be alike, be grateful for whatever you have, and count your own blessings. Analyze your jealousy by talking to the person you’re jealous of, it surely can be difficult/ awkward but it’ll help you to learn from them, get inspired, and become friends which will also help you get rid of this behavior.
We’re often quick to jump to conclusions and form assumptions about others without knowing the whole scenario and based on those assumptions we judge another person which is a toxic trait. People usually tend to enjoy judging others on their actions, appearance, lifestyle, relationships, jobs, etc., or when their beliefs or values don’t identify.
When you judge others you mostly don’t realize it at the moment that you’re actually judging, it happens because you are not being accepted of what they are doing or you don’t consider it good enough or simply feel threatened by them or to make ourselves feel better because we lack self-love and self-acceptance. Sometimes you can feel anger about it which can lead to hurting the other person’s feelings.
A more practical approach is to understand that judgments have mostly to do with us and less with the person we judge, we need to learn that we don’t have to raise ourselves by putting the other person down, start by embracing yourself the way you are, be compassionate and accepting for the way people are and toxic traits in yourself can be changed.
If you are someone who is pessimistic or always sees negative aspects of life then there are most likely chances that people don’t enjoy your company and find it unpleasant to be around you. You’re always critical of everything and something might go wrong, somehow even in most positive situations your mind automatically diverts to the negative side. Being negative all the time can also make an optimistic person feel creeped out or sad as it can be emotionally and physically draining.
You’re always dull, worried about unnecessary issues, you complain and whine a lot, most of the time you don’t enjoy little things in life which should give you happiness and are never up for new experiences. To deal with toxic traits in yourself, we need to understand the reasons for negativity in our life first and confront them. It can be related to our past traumas, deep-rooted fears, past tragedies that might have taken a toll on us, fear of being judged or disrespected. Secondly, seek a counselor, or talk to a friend about it, don’t sit ideal doing anything, learn to control your thoughts and letting go of negative ones by meditating.
4. SELF – OBSESSED
An extremely self–absorbed or self–a centered person makes everything about themselves whether or not it’s related to them. They are full of themselves and don’t see any flaws in them, they consider themselves superior to others, it is always their opinions and preferences that matter to them regardless of what others say, they are consumed in toxic traits in yourself. Your attitude towards others says a lot about you, if you’re selfish, degrade others, hide your real self in front of others, or portray a false image. Considering the world wrong and yourself right can lead you to become arrogant. If you see these signs in you then it can be the reason why people tend to push you away.
Start by taking into account other people’s feelings and emotions because toxic traits in yourself are not everything has to do with you. Be a good listener, pay attention to what the other person has to say. Get rid of negative people in your life, focus on the work you’re doing rather than the outcome. Spend more time with your loved ones and understand by keeping yourself in their shoes.
5. BEING A STUBBORN PERFECTIONIST
Perfectionists have unrealistic expectations towards everything they do, for them making a small mistake can be big of a deal. They have high standards in life, these type of people are never satisfied with the work done unless it’s done in the way they want without any error which can be quite stressful for them and the people around them. Usually, people don’t tolerate such perfectionists and tend to avoid them or push them away as they consider it troublesome.
If you constantly spot mistakes and correct them or have the desire to make everything perfect then you are a perfectionist. Success can never be enough as you always want to achieve something even more than that which can be harmful to your mental health and can make you depressed or disappointed when you are not able to achieve those high goals. A practical approach towards it can be by lowering your standards and setting more realistic goals, not expecting much by learning to compromise. Taking time off work, breaks and vacations is okay and doesn’t mean you’re wasting your time.
6. LACKING EMPATHY
John Connolly once stated “The nature of humanity, its essence is to feel another’s a pain as one’s own, and to act to take that pain away. There is nobility in compassion, a beauty in empathy, a grace in forgiveness.” Empathy helps in understanding the feelings of another person or animals. It also helps in recognizing others’ beliefs and points of view rather than just our own.
People who lack a sense of empathy often can be seen judging or criticizing others, they don’t feel happy for others even for their own friends, and don’t really care about others pain and emotions they can also come out as mean most of the time. Start by learning from facts instead of directly understanding others’ feelings instead of directly understanding others, be patient while talking to another person, and listen carefully to what they’re trying to say. If you detect any of these toxic traits in yourself then there is nothing to worry about you can change them easily by following the above-given tips. It takes willpower and discipline but it can surely be overcome.
Hope you liked the article, do read: 6 Toxic Behaviors that Push People Away & How to Improve